Reading a strong UCAS personal statement example is one of the fastest ways to understand what admissions tutors actually want. This guide breaks down real-world examples — by subject — and explains precisely why they work (or don't).
Why Examples Matter More Than Rules
Most advice about UCAS personal statements is abstract: "show don't tell", "be specific", "demonstrate passion". Examples make those rules concrete. When you see the difference between a vague sentence and a precise one, the principle sticks.
The examples below are illustrative models showing common patterns — the kinds of statements that admissions teams frequently praise or criticise.
Strong Opening Examples (by Subject)
Medicine
Weak version:
"I have always wanted to be a doctor because I want to help people."
Strong version:
"Watching a consultant explain a complex diagnosis to a frightened patient — calmly, honestly, without medical jargon — made me understand that medicine demands as much skill in communication as it does in science. That conversation changed what I thought a doctor's role was."
Why it works: The strong version anchors the interest in a specific moment, demonstrates observation, and shows the applicant has thought about medicine beyond the technical. It signals maturity.
Law
Weak version:
"I became interested in law after watching a courtroom drama on TV."
Strong version:
"Reading The Rule of Law by Tom Bingham forced me to question something I had taken for granted: that justice and legality are the same thing. They often are not, and exploring that gap is what drew me to law."
Why it works: A named book, a precise intellectual tension, and a genuine analytical insight. Admissions tutors can immediately see that this applicant thinks like a law student.
Computer Science
Weak version:
"I love coding and have been doing it since I was ten."
Strong version:
"When I discovered that merge sort runs in O(n log n) worst-case time — unlike bubble sort's O(n²) — I became fascinated not just by the result, but by the proof. The elegance of formal reasoning in computer science is what I want to study at university."
Why it works: Demonstrates technical knowledge, uses correct terminology, and explains why the subject appeals to the applicant — not just that it does.
English Literature
Weak version:
"I love reading and have always enjoyed English lessons."
Strong version:
"Angela Carter writes bodies as landscapes and landscapes as bodies — a technique I only noticed after reading The Bloody Chamber alongside The Passion of New Eve. The comparison unlocked a method: reading across texts, not just within them."
Why it works: Specific author, specific texts, a genuine literary observation the applicant made independently. This is exactly what university-level English study involves.
Economics
Weak version:
"The 2008 financial crisis sparked my interest in economics."
Strong version:
"Reading Minsky's financial instability hypothesis explained what the 2008 crisis seemed to confirm: that stability itself generates instability. That idea — that success sows the seeds of failure — feels like the central tension of modern capitalism, and one I want to study properly."
Why it works: An economics concept correctly named, a specific thinker cited, and the applicant's own synthesis. This signals degree-level thinking.
The Relevance Test
Every sentence in your personal statement should pass this test: does this sentence tell admissions tutors something specific about my suitability for this course?
Apply it to your experience section too:
Weak: "I completed a week's work experience at a hospital."
Strong: "During a week shadowing a GP, I noticed how often consultations turned on what the patient didn't say — the hesitation before answering, the downplayed symptom. That observation made me read about motivational interviewing, which I hadn't encountered in biology A-level."
The strong version shows the applicant learning from experience and acting on that learning independently.
Common Mistakes in UCAS Personal Statements
1. Opening with a quote
Every year, thousands of applications open with a quote from Einstein, Gandhi, or Aristotle. Admissions tutors see hundreds of these. Starting with someone else's words signals a lack of original thought — the opposite of what you want.
2. Writing a CV in prose form
"I am the captain of the school football team, a Grade 8 pianist, and a volunteer at a local charity." Lists of achievements without reflection show what you did, not who you are or why any of it matters for your degree.
3. Vague subject motivation
"I find economics fascinating because it explains how the world works." This tells the admissions tutor nothing they didn't already know about economics. Be specific about what you find fascinating and why.
4. Mentioning all five universities
Your personal statement goes to every university on your UCAS application. Referencing a specific university or course by name is a common — and easily avoidable — mistake.
5. Using passive voice throughout
"It was decided that medicine was the right career for me." By whom? Active voice forces you to own your choices and decisions.
What a Good Structure Looks Like
| Section | Approximate allocation |
|---|---|
| Opening hook | 10–15% |
| Subject motivation (academic interest) | 40–50% |
| Relevant experience (with reflection) | 25–35% |
| Skills, achievements, wider interests | 10–15% |
| Closing paragraph | 5–10% |
The most common mistake is spending too little on subject motivation and too much on activities. Admissions tutors are primarily selecting for academic potential — they want to see that you think like a student in their subject.
How to Evaluate Your Own Statement
Before you submit, read your statement as if you were an admissions tutor reading it for the first time. Ask:
- Can I tell which subject this applicant wants to study from the first two sentences? If not, restructure the opening.
- Does the applicant show they have engaged with the subject beyond the A-level syllabus? Evidence of independent reading is the strongest signal.
- Is every experience mentioned linked back to the course? If not, cut or reframe it.
- Does the closing paragraph add anything new, or does it just repeat the introduction? If the latter, rewrite it.
Get Annotated Feedback on Your Statement
Seeing examples is helpful. But the most useful feedback is specific to your statement. Statementory reviews your personal statement against real admissions criteria, gives you a score out of 100, annotates every sentence, and provides a 10-step improvement plan — in under 10 minutes.